What Matters Most

Running, training and racing is a very selfish endeavor. I've always known it. You don’t cross that finish line for anyone but yourself. Yes, our community of runners and athletes is awesome but they aren't the ones who sacrifice their time for YOUR personal success. For 7 years, I've been asking my wife and kids to spend many of their weekends alone while I gallivant through the wilderness (e.g., not do laundry, not fix things around the house or not clean up the garage). It’s time to change that.

Some of you may have noticed that I am not spamming Facebook with all my latest runs or updating my blog with mileage or product reviews. To say that things have slowed down would be putting it mildly. Both my metabolism and mid-section are starting to show just how little running I've been doing lately.  Some folks have already started to take notice.

“Are you sick?” (No.)

“Did you injure yourself?” (No.)

“Are you tapering for another race?” (Only if tapering means drinking a lot of beer.)

Carvor - my dude.

Hadley - braces off!

2014 could be another year of epic sh*t. I could enter the lottery for Western States or Hardrock. I have enough points to register for UTMB. But I’m not.

I won’t be signing up for any major races this year.

These races will always be there. My kids will never be 10 and 7 again.

Today, I’m still cool enough to take them to the mall or get ice cream. They want to spend time with me. (I usually have to buy them something but hell, what dad isn't happy to reward his kids for doing great in school?) I wouldn't say I've been a poor father, but I wouldn't say that being a dad (and husband) has been my #1 priority…and hearing myself admit that makes me a little sad. I want my kids to know they mean more to me than a buckle or another race bib.

A Maui dinner with my wonderful wife...

Is this all a personal revelation? No. When you get to spend 7 kid-free-days with your wife in Maui, you actually get to talk in full sentences about things that don’t involve bugs, poop or Lego. When you have an honest conversation about the future you want to have for your family and your children, your part in that equation becomes pretty obvious. My kids deserve an awesome future – solid morals, a strong work ethic and the confidence to make their own decisions (and mistakes). I want that life for them, even if they don’t know it yet.

This is not about choosing to be a runner or a father. I will always be a runner. It’s part of who I am. But I love my kids and wife more. And right now, spending time with them means more to me than any trail or buckle.

They are who I am.

And I'm going to make sure they know it...

A dose of what matters

As a runner, have you ever:

• Cut work a little short to go for a run?
• Slipped in an extra $50 to the family budget to buy GU's?
• Skipped the kids swim class to go for a run?
• Obsessed over your training schedule?
• Reviewed your race logistics over and over and over?

Guilty. As. Charged.

I personally have been going pretty hard with my training and was really looking forward to my schedule this summer/fall. Then it happened.

Shingles.

I didn't become a roofing professional, I came down with shingles. It is a pain I don't wish on anyone.

The point of this post is not about shingles. It's that so often we become obsessed with training. With racing. With stuff related to running that we don't look up to see the rest of the world or really appreciate what others go through to support our crazy obsession.

I'm not a fan of injuries or sickness, nor do I wish that on anyone. But often times we are so consumed with our passion for running that it literally takes something like injury or sickness to slow us down and forces us to step back, refocus and evaluate our priorities with running, life and family (not necessarily in that order of course).

Missing Zane Grey sucked. But being up there and crewing reminded me that supporting your ultra-runner is just as important as preparing and training for the race itself. I was re-invigorated seeing familiar faces, helping out and taking pictures. As a runner, it was a good dose of, "it's just not about me"...

I'll be helping out at the Sinister night run this weekend also...adding some karma to the ultra-running bank.

So don't wait until you get injured or sick to assess your priorities or place in this running world. Get out there and give back to your fellow runners...it's fun, cleansing and good for your mental (running) health.

Best. Birthday. Ever.

I am still reeling from THE best birthday weekend ever. I guess it's not every day you turn 40.

Skydiving with my sister and parents?
Check.

Limo ride, champagne and fancy dinner?

Check.

Surprise birthday bash?

Check.

Birthday run?

Definitely, check.

Graffiti Run - Phoenix, AZ

A while back I noticed a LivingSocial deal for this 5k in Phoenix. Normally, I don't pay them much mind but when I clicked through the ad, I came to this colorful and fun site that showed people of all ages being blasted with color. They were dancing and frolicking like it was Woodstock or something...except without the long hair and weed :)

Despite the location (Peoria, about an hour away), I registered the entire family for this 5k run/walk.

Like many other 'races', there was a massive mob to register and go to the bathroom. It wouldn't have been so bad if it weren't so chilly that morning. Temps hovered in the low 40's and per the recommendation on the website, many folks were (1) wearing as much white as they could or (2) wearing skimpy white costumes, tutu's or t-shirts.

In case you did look at the website, the basic idea is to walk 5km through these color stations with each station being a different color they throw at you. You intentionally get blasted with handfuls of a safe, non-toxic corn starch-based powder that covers your clothes, hair, face and body. At the end of the race, you look like something that walked out of a Rainbow Bright port-o-potty.

You can imagine the massive crowd of people all dressed in white. It looked like a herd of migrating marshmallows...

Pre-run

Here is what it looks like approaching/passing through the color stations.

The billow of pink in the distance

The kids getting blasted

I can honestly say we have never had so much fun at a run/walk before. I personally dressed up in as much white as I could - hat, sunglasses, some colorful lei's and funky socks.

At first, the kids weren't sure what to make of it but once they caught on...'hey, we're allowed to get dirty'...they were into it 110%.

The event is well done - there is music, lots of color and a couple small water stations. Other than starting a bit late, everyone thoroughly enjoyed themselves.

Nice photo-bomb Zack

My wife and I post-run

Everyone post-run

P.S. If you do an event like this, be prepared, despite the encouraging words on the website to throw your clothes away after the event. We've washed everything several times and it still looks like a unicorn wiped it's ass with our laundry.

True happiness

There is something to be said about slowing things down and remembering how simple and enjoyable life can be when you're not juggling 15 different things or worrying about the small things in life. Our yearly trip to SD and ND is coming to a close and it truly has made me step back and given me pause.

Life is actually pretty simple. We only have ourselves to blame for over-complicating it.

Family. Friends. Love. These are really the only things you need to be truly happy...

While I'm looking forward to being home in AZ (not the heat really), it will be a long time before I forget this summer being in North Dakota with my parents, brother, sister and my wife and kids. I can't say that I've had the most stellar training regimen however...it's tough when you're you're having more fun just living life.

I'd gladly sacrifice running any day to have this special time with my family.

Making time for it all

Many people may not know this about me - I'm very selfish with my personal time. More often than not, if I'm not running or working, I'm content to just do nothing. And when I mean nothing...seriously, I mean nothing. I know, it's self-centered and very unproductive when it comes to life in general.

That's why this year, I had resolved to make some changes.

Changes in my priorities.

Changes in my attitude.

Changes to what's really important.

Up until last weekend, they were fleeting notions of grandeur however. But as you may recall, during my last race, I struggled pretty hard with the guilt that I was spending precious time away from my wife and kids.

My epiphany is really not that grand, but with so many priorities in our lives, it is often hard to find the balance between everything we want to do. I often preach to my team at work that time management is one of the keys to success - that without it, we get randomized and lose our focus.

That's me at this very moment - feeling somewhat randomized with all the things I want need to do in my life.

Kids - Work - Wife - Home - Friends - Retirement - Parents - Pets - Taxes - Health

I know you probably have the same list of things in your life as well. When you consider that we spend at least half of our waking hours each day at work, there is often little time (and motivation) to focus on these 10 other things.

• I want to be an unselfish parent and attentive father to my kids.
• I want to be a supportive and equal partner to my wife.
• I want to have a successful long-term financially viable future.
• I want to be a healthy and active role model for my kids, family and friends.

I'll never say that I'm "sacrificing" my running to make these things a priority but I will say that I'm changing how I spend my time. Balancing the needs of the many, rather than the one. And while I do feel a tinge of guilt that I've completely blown off my running schedule this week, I revel in the fact that I allowed many other things to be the priority rather than just me, me, me...

I honestly don't know what the right answer is - and if you've read this far, you may not know the answer either. I just know that I want all the best things in life - for my family and myself. And that takes just as much work as training for any run or triathlon - maybe even more.

A proud day for dad

Over the past several years, I've found myself crossing the finish line without my wife or kids there to greet me. Younger kids (like mine) have the attention span of a gnat so even if they did brave the parking and massive numbers of athletes and family, it's never really worth the hassle. Hey, I'm ok with that...a happy wife = happy life :)

Lately however, they've been venturing out and braving the crowds to watch me finish (IMAZ and PF Chang Marathon). I don't think they (the kids) understand what goes into those races but they certainly have enjoyed watching me finish (and taking advantage of the post-race snacks).

"Daddy, you're sweaty!"

"Daddy, why do you look tired?"

"Daddy, when are you going to stop eating?"

I could certainly could never get tired of having them there at the finish or asking obviously innocent questions.

I raise this because the tables have turned recently and I've been taking time to go watch my daughter participate in her track meets as part of the Weinburg Running Club. She'll tell you she's not the fastest but she does enjoy running with her friends and seeing if she can beat her previous time (...I'm sure I don't know where she gets her competitive spirit from...)

Track meet #2 was yesterday and my jaw almost hit the floor when she asked me to use my 'running watch' (Garmin 305). Stunned by surprise and pride, I happily slapped it on her wrist and gave a 30-second primer on which buttons to push. As you can see below, she did great.


There were fewer kids at this race than the first (over 500 kids at race #1) but regardless, she came in 66th place overall (there were at least a 200 kids total). Compared to 164th place in the last track meet, she was ecstatic.

Also, she was quick to point out that "...even Ironmen don't get Popsicles at the end of their races..."

I'm very proud of her and hope she continues to improve and have fun.

Family first

Everyone training for or supporting someone who is training for an Ironman knows that "sacrifice" is *THE* most often used word in our vocabulary.

Work. Early mornings. Weekends. All of it at the mercy of long rides, extended stretching/icing sessions and multi-hour runs.

We ask a lot of our families during this time. I'm sure for my wife, it's like being a single parent on the weekends. Getting up earlier than she'd like, making breakfast for the kids and then cleaning up a house that I am probably the most guilty of making a mess of. I will publicly acknowledge that she is the Iron-wife who takes care of us all.

That's why this weekend, I won't be riding. A prior commitment means that I will be taking care of things Sunday morning (Can't you ride later in the day, you might ask. Not really - it's 105 outside). Clearly not a hardship for me to be there when my kids get up to make their favorite waffles and eggs for breakfast but nonetheless, a gap in my training. Will it make a difference? I doubt it.

I'm happy to take an extended weekend actually. The rigors of this last week have taken a bit more recovery than usual and I'm happy to get a little extra recovery time. Despite everything I do each week for training, nothing comes close to the responsibilities of taking care of our home and family. It's actually harder than training for an Ironman - but it's a challenge I'm happy to take on.